Your Wedding Guest Etiquette Guide

Photo by: Kari Tello Photo

Wedding season is in full swing and therefore your weekends may include back-to-back celebrations! And since we have shared tons of advice for couples in the planning process, I decided to write something for those who are attending all these weddings. We blogged about the rules of modern wedding etiquette before but, below are some of my top tips on how to be a good wedding guest! 

Confirm If Kids Are Allowed

Photo by: Kari Tello Photo

Perhaps one of the most controversial topics is if kids are allowed to attend, so let’s tackle this first. My view on this stands as: ultimately, it’s up to the couple. If you do have kids, some key ways to know if they are invited is if the envelope is addressed to “family” or each name individually. The couple may also have listed your children’s names or a kid menu option on the RSVP card. Another place couples will list those details is on their wedding website. So, what to do if you’re unsure? Reach out to the couple before RSVP’ing and confirm if the invitation extends to the entire family or adult members only. (In some cases, couples will hire babysitters to watch kids during the festivities). Whatever the answer is, please respect the couple’s decision, and plan your attendance accordingly.

Follow The Dress Code

Photo by: Kari Tello Photo

It’s not an uncommon practice for couples to list the dress code for their event, especially if there’s a specific vibe they going for. If a dress code is listed, please do your best to follow as closely as you can. Consider if the wedding is indoor, outdoor, fall, summer, etc. All of these factors will help you decide what to wear. If you still aren’t sure what to wear, check out this blog post where we decipher wedding dress code. As a last resort, ask the couple what would be the most appropriate thing to wear. Lastly, unless it’s specifically listed on the invite, please do not wear white/cream/ivory/off-white/eggshell…you get the point.  

Please Don’t Block the Photographer

Photo by: Sisterlee Photography

Have you been guilty of this, or witnessed this at a wedding? You see the couple coming down the aisle, the emotions start pouring, and you stand up to get a better photo. Or you lean into the aisle…or sit in the aisle (it’s happened!) While I understand the intention is well-meaning, please remember that the couple has hired and paid professionals for their services to capture their day. There’s a reason why the unplugged movement has been gaining so much traction recently. An unplugged ceremony allows guests to simply be present for the most important moments. Additionally, it lets the couple see your face while they exchange vows, instead of a rectangle. Please keep this in mind when you pull out your phone or wedding during a wedding. 

Wait To Set Down Personal Items

Photo by: Loui Photography

I’ll admit it – as a wedding vendor, this is one of our biggest pet peeves: please don’t hold a seat at reception (or even ceremony) with a jacket/purse/shoes, etc. The reason why we don’t allow guests to do this is because we may still be setting the area up, and we don’t want to move guests’ personal items. We don’t want to invade private property or have an item misplaced. Secondly, the couple spends hundreds of hours and dollars on their décor, so it’s always on a shot list for the photographers. We request guests hold their personal items until the videographer and photography teams have had a chance to take photos of the reception details. 

Ask Before You Take the Floral Arrangements

Photo by:  Natalie Joy Mitchell

As a similar note to the above, please ask before you take a floral arrangement or other wedding décor item home. Sometimes it’s encouraged for guests to take them home and other times, it’s best to leave them. For example, the vase may be a rental item and the couple will be charged for a missing piece. Or we’ve had couples re-use florals and other décor items for a post-wedding brunch. If something is not very obviously a guest favor, simply ask the wedding planner if an item is okay to take as a souvenir.  

Don’t Contact The Couple The Day Of The Wedding

Photo by: The Shalom Imaginative

Unless you are in the wedding party, or given a task by the couple prior to the wedding, please do not text or call the couple the day of the wedding! If you have questions regarding directions, timing, etc, find answers elsewhere. Either by calling another guest, the venue, or seek out the wedding planner. But the couple is busy getting ready, taking photos, and other details. They may not have the capacity to help in that moment, but I promise, there is someone who can help.   

Of course the most important piece of advice I can give is to HAVE FUN! As a wedding guest, you have the tremendous honor of celebrating love. Having a great time at the wedding and enjoying the event is the best thing you can do to be a good wedding guest. I hope this was helpful advice as wedding season continues and the invitations keep flowing!

PS – if you are next in the wedding planning process, or have a friend planning their wedding, contact me on my homepage here and we’ll let’s plan your epic party together!